toxic traits to get rid of in 2020

Here are 10 toxic traits to get rid of in 2020. This will be a post seperated into two so that it’s easier to read. I will upload the next 10 toxic traits next week!

Anyways, these traits you have are essential to get rid of for growing up. If you’re 24, like me, you have no excuse to still hold onto these toxic traits, it’s doing NOBODY any favors, especially yourself.

The time to focus on yourself is now, why not stop being that toxic child you swear you are not? not saying all children are toxic but we usually tend to get these toxic traits growing up in a toxic household or environment!

Here are my top 20 toxic traits to get rid of in 2020:

1. not having an open heart
2. judging others
3. bullying
4. ignoring your problems
5. being a complainer
6. not taking the lead of your life
7. avoiding your trauma and never healing
8. trying to fit into every space
9. playing victim
10. being self-centered
11. blaming others
12. spreading rumors
13. control freak
14. being hypocritical
15. manipulative
16. gas-lighting
17. being aggressive
18. having a negative mindset
19. being a mean person
20. not feeling worthy

toxic traits to get rid of #1: not having an open heart

Why should we have an open heart? We need to be open to listening to everybody, no matter how dumb they sound LOL

This only is towards homophobes, fatphobes, transphobes. Those are the type of people who need to open their hearts more to OTHERS. I’m not gay, I wouldn’t be considered fat to most people and I’m not a trans person, but I am very open to listening to them and acknowledging their struggles in this world since it’s not really made for them.

Trigger warning: rape, child molestation, abuse

The only time I would say I don’t have an open heart is when I try to listen to abusers, child molesters, or rapists.

Like, they do not have to be listened to because they have done evil acts that I can not condone ever, but I know therapists HAVE to listen to them and try to help them. I personally just can not open my heart to those type of people at all.

But gay people, trans people, etc have shown time and time again that they are no harm to anybody, so I’m not sure why people still insist they are evil?

toxic traits to get rid of #2: judging others

this kind of goes along with #1. Judging others, I never understood this. Usually when I saw someone judging someone else, the person doing the judging has a lot I could critique on as well.

For example, I knew someone who would say they would NEVER date someone with crooked teeth. That person has no right to say something like that because their breath always stank. It’s almost embarrassing because I still know them and they haven’t had a boyfriend ever. This was a super toxic trait of them and I’m actually not their friend anymore because their toxicity was just too much for my brain. I couldn’t handle it anymore.

toxic traits to get rid of #3: bullying

bullies have been a huge problem because they cause people to hurt themselves so much, sometimes to the point of no return.

I’ve heard so many stories of bullying that hurt my heart even though I never faced it myself. The worst one I know about was the time this skater kid from my school who had long hair. Noone liked him enough to date him. Once he shaved his head, he started getting girlfriends and they flat out would say they only want to date him because he shaved his head. Otherwise they would always make fun of his height and looking like chucky or a girl.

I always thought he looked sad when he was praised for finally having a girlfriend. It seemed more like he just settled to stop being bullied.

toxic traits to get rid of #4: ignoring your problems

pushing your problems to the side can be toxic because it’s more like you are supressing your true feelings, which will eventually bubble up.

toxic traits to get rid of #5: being a complainer

complainers don’t get anywhere in life. They seem like children to most, or big adult babies.

What you need to do instead, is find joy in every little thing you do. If you can’t find joy in what you’re doing, that’s a sign that you need a change. Either you need to change your environment, your mindset or your lifestyle. What’s something you can’t help but complain about? Can you fix it?

toxic traits to get rid of #6: not taking the lead of your life

recently i have felt i didn’t take lead of my own life. i let people I LOVE push me down, make me feel like im not worth more. i know i am worthy of being treated like a human, like i deserve to eat, i deserve to laugh and smile and be loud when im having fun. i kept having dreams of good people treating me with respect. to be treated with respect you have to treat yourself with that respect.

if you’re not getting it where you are now, you need to work to find a way out.

my way out is working and making money and buying myself a house and living my life the way it was intended to.

how do you take lead of your life?

toxic traits to get rid of #7: not healing past traumas

I’ve been victim of this and it’s just something you have to work on over and over again to fix the trauma you have so you don’t keep hurting yourself and others.

Past trauma can haunt you and hurt you. So it’s important to take some time for yourself, and write down what’s hidden deep down inside you. Here are some ideas of what to ask yourself:

• did something happen to me when I was young?
• why do I get angry easily?
• what am I most afraid of and why?
• what is something you don’t like about yourself and why?
• are there any boundaries you need to set with other people?
• what are some techniques you think will help you deal with your traumas?
• can you forgive the people who have caused harm to you in the past?

toxic traits to get rid of #8: trying to fit in everywhere

not every space is meant for you. you are a unique person, but you don’t belong in every spot. I personally don’t belong in the party scene. That’s okay because we need to find places that are meant for us. Once you know where you belong, the people who are meant to be with you will gravitate to your space.

toxic traits to get rid of #9: playing the victim

Playing a victim causes harm to others in many ways. When you play the victim and you’re actually the person who harmed another, means that you will keep being haunted and traumatized of those past actions. Playing a victim is almost like being the boy who cried wolf. You’re harming yourself in the end.

toxic traits to get rid of #10: being self-centered

Being too self centered can cause you to end up alone in the end. Usually someone who is self-centered will focus on other peoples faults or flaws, while thinking they are perfect when they are in fact not. I have left multiple people because of how self-centered they were.

The worst moment was when I walked miles with my friend to meet some guy friend of hers, only for me to be standing by myself while they chatted.

Never again will I “cross oceans for people for them to only jump puddles” for me lol you guys know that quote right?

Thanks for reading 10 toxic traits to get rid of in 2020!

what traits are you still getting rid of? my post next Friday will include the final 10 toxic traits to get rid of! I will update this post later to link it here. 

Last post: My travel experience during covie

Read more: 2020 life update | How to have a pleasant morning! | Ways to be happy during covid

LOVE, KIKI

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