relationships | How I told my boyfriend my biggest secret (espanol)

soyvirgo skin condition blog post share your skin condition stories vitiligo stories married with vitiligo

Hello readers. I wanted to talk about how I told my boyfriend (who’s now my husband) about my skin condition and how you can do it too! For anyone struggling with vitiligo, you’re not alone and it really isn’t a big deal to tell someone you like!

Quería hablar sobre cómo le conté a mi novio (que ahora es mi esposo)

sobre la condición de mi piel y cómo tú también puedes hacerlo!

Para cualquiera que esté luchando contra el vitíligo, no estás solo/a y realmente no es gran cosa contárselo a alguien que le gusta!

 

The short version of this post is, if they don’t want to stay with you all because of a skin condition, then they aren’t meant for you! That goes for friends too. The people who like you only for your skin condition are weird too, so, as long as you love your skin then the people who are meant to be in your life will find you and not give a f if you have a skin problem (or any problem for that matter)!

La versión corta de esta publicación es que si no quieren quedarse con ustedes por una condición de la piel, ¡entonces no son para ustedes! Eso también se aplica a los amigos. Las personas a las que les gustas sólo por la condición de tu piel también son raras, así que, mientras ames tu piel, las personas que deben estar en tu vida te encontrarán y les importará un carajo si tienes un problema de piel (o cualquier problema de hecho)!

Now let’s dive deep!

enjoy reading how to tell your partner you have a skin condition!

how to tell your partner you have a skin condition in 2 steps

My experience with vitiligo!

cómo decirle a tu pareja que tienes una enfermedad de la piel
¡Mi experiencia con vitíligo…

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I’ve had vitiligo since I was 8 years old and it was difficult growing up with it only because I wasn’t comfortable with it.

I was never bullied, but I did bully myself 😖 and hid it from everyone throughout my school years. At age 16 I started to date and at 18 I was talking to someone online and we got closer and closer until we called ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend. We got married when I turned 20 and that was after I told him about my condition.

 

He tenido vitíligo desde que tenía 8 años y fue difícil crecer con él porque no me sentía cómoda con él. Nunca fui intimidada, pero sí a mí mismo😖 y lo escondi a todos durante mis años escolares. A los 16 años comencé a salir con hombres y a los 18 hablaba con alguien por internet y nos acercamos cada vez más hasta que nos llamamos novio y novia.

Nos casamos cuando cumplí 20 años y eso fue después de que le conté sobre mi condición.

cute brown skinned picrew girl art anime style art
from picrew

Now at 28 years old, I’m finally more comfortable living in my skin and wearing dresses again, short sleeves and no makeup in the summer time! It was difficult to understand how insignificant this condition was in the grand scheme of things since I was struggling mentally with it from the start.

Ahora, a los 28 años, finalmente me siento más cómoda viviendo en mi piel y usando vestidos nuevamente, mangas cortas y sin maquillaje en verano. Era difícil entender que insignificante era esta condición en el gran esquema, ya que estuve luchando mentalmente con ella desde el principio.

The truth is 1. I’m not sick, 2. I’m not in pain, 3. I don’t suffer other than mentally from this condition. It doesn’t make it any less difficult to live with something you have no choice to live with even though it’s not a serious disease or illness. I did light therapy, which did give me some pigmentation back but there is no cure.

La verdad es 1. No estoy enferma, 2. No tengo dolor, 3. No sufro más que mentalmente por esta condición. No hace que sea menos difícil vivir con algo con lo que no tienes otra opción, aunque no sea una enfermedad grave. Hice fototerapia, que me devolvió algo de pigmentación, pero no hay cura.

People would come up to me who completely turned themselves light skinned (i’m not sure how), but I didn’t want to turn a different skin color, I wanted my brown skin. I didn’t want to turn into Michael Jackson. No hate to anyone who does that, but I’d rather keep my brown skin and deal with white patches (even though it sucked having it growing up).

Se me acercaban personas que se volvían completamente de piel clara (no estoy seguro cómo lo lograron), pero yo no quería cambiar de color de piel, quería mi piel morena. No quería convertirme en Michael Jackson. No hay problema por nadie que haga eso, pero prefiero mantener mi piel morena y lidiar con las manchas blancas (aunque fue un asco tenerla cuando era chiquita).

There were people in my life who would tell me to not think about because they had the skin condition too …but their skin was white. Of course it’s easy for them to not care about the skin condition, nobody could tell they had it, not even me! As a young girl, beauty is kind of everything  growing up. Everyone around you focuses on weight, hair, makeup, looks!

Había personas en mi vida que me decían que no me debe molestar porque ellos también tenían la condición de la piel… pero su piel era blanca. Por supuesto es fácil para ellos no preocuparse por la condición de la piel, nadie podía decir que la tenía, ¡ni siquiera yo! Cuando era niña, la belleza lo es todo mientras crecía. ¡Todos los que te rodean se centran en el peso, el cabello, el maquillaje y la apariencia!

Now I have a skin condition on top of everything? That’s all I’m going to think about, especially during school. I always ditched school especially during high school due to this skin condition and was almost kicked out for having so many absences.

School was horrible all thanks to this skin condition. If you have a child dealing with this, really try talking to them because truthfully I was depressed and always had suicidal thoughts. Actually it might be better to just home-school your kid unless they have friends.

¿Ahora tengo una afección en la piel además de todo? Eso es todo en lo que voy a pensar, especialmente durante la escuela. Siempre abandoné la escuela, especialmente durante la secundaria, debido a esta condición de la piel y casi me echan por tener tantas ausencias.

La escuela fue horrible todo gracias a esta condición de la piel. Si tienes un hijo que está pasando por esto, intenta hablar con él/ella porque la verdad es que yo estaba deprimida y siempre tenía pensamientos suicidas. En realidad, podría ser mejor educar a su hijo en casa, a menos que tenga amigos.

2022 “Koisenu Futari” girl on bike smiling japanese movie soyvirgo.com
from Koisenu Futari (2022)

My friends really got me through school, but it was the moments when I was alone that were hard for me. The good thing is there is light at the end of the tunnel. I grew up and realized it wasn’t too bad, of course I was in college by that time and we weren’t stuck in school almost half the day. Boys barely even notice the details, unless they are detail-oriented.

You can hide it for a long time with people you are dating, but not with friends. Friends are always the ones to find out right away, but they knew I was uncomfortable with it so they never said anything.

Mis amigos realmente me ayudaron a terminar la escuela, pero fueron los momentos en los que estaba sola los que fueron difíciles. Lo bueno es que hay luz al final del túnel. Crecí y me di cuenta de que no era tan malo. Por supuesto, en ese momento ya estaba en la universidad y no estábamos atrapados en la escuela casi la mitad del día. Los niños apenas notan los detalles, a menos que estén orientados a los detalles.

Puedes esconderlo con las personas con las que estás saliendo, pero no con tus amigos. Los amigos siempre son los que se enteran de inmediato, pero sabían que me sentía incómoda así que nunca dijeron nada.

I was looking for people to date long distance, which makes it easier to talk and get to know people before you meet them. I ended up marrying the first guy I told about my skin condition and he didn’t mind it at all. It isn’t the end of the world if you have a skin condition like this one!

Estaba buscando gente con quien salir a larga distancia, lo que hace que sea más fácil hablar y conocer gente antes de conocerla. Terminé casándome con el primer chico al que le hablé de mi condición de piel y no le importó en absoluto. ¡No es el fin del mundo si tienes una condición de piel como ésta!

 

telling your crush you have a skin condition soyvirgo.com The Fragrant Flower Blooms with Dignity manga art how to tell your partner you have a skin condition
from The Fragrant Flower Blooms with Dignity

Vitiligo (vit-ih-LIE-go) is a disease that causes loss of skin color in patches. The discolored areas usually get bigger with time. The condition can affect the skin on any part of the body. It can also affect hair and the inside of the mouth. – Mayo Clinic

Vitiligo signs include:
  • Patchy loss of skin color, which usually first appears on the hands, face, and areas around body openings and the genitals
  • Premature whitening or graying of the hair on your scalp, eyelashes, eyebrows or beard
  • Loss of color in the tissues that line the inside of the mouth and nose (mucous membranes)

how to tell your partner you have a skin condition in 2 steps

1. tell someone / Dile a alguien 

As i was getting to know my now husband more and more in our long distance dating phase, I was thinking how we were going to meet for the first time and how I would tell him about my skin condition. Actually I told him about my skin almost a week before he was planning to fly and see me. I was panicking! I decided to tell one of my best friends Gabe.

I told Gabe about my skin and I told him I was nervous about telling my boyfriend. Gabe was a real one and told me if he doesn’t like that I have a skin condition, then he can eat poop. I took my friends advice and moved to the next step.

The Fragrant Flower Blooms with Dignity
from The Fragrant Flower Blooms with Dignity

A medida que iba conociendo cada vez más a mi ahora esposo en nuestra fase de citas a larga distancia, estaba pensando en cómo nos íbamos a encontrar por primera vez y cómo le contaría sobre la condición de mi piel. De hecho, le hablé de mi piel casi una semana antes de que planeara volar y verme.

¡Estaba en pánico! Decidí contárselo a uno de mis mejores amigos, Gabe. Le conté a Gabe sobre mi piel y le dije que estaba nerviosa por contárselo a mi novio. Gabe era real y me dijo que si no le gusta que tenga una afección de la piel, entonces puede comer caca. Seguí el consejo de mis amigos y pasé al siguiente paso.

2. tell your crush/boyfriend/girlfriend/partner! / ¡Díselo a la persona que te gusta!

I literally just told him over the phone 😳 Why did I tell him? Well because he was going to visit me, and it would be difficult to be close to him, someone I’ve been talking to online for months, and him not noticing my skin at least once during his visit. I was panicking and sweating until it got to the point where I told him…

Literalmente se lo dije por teléfono 😳 ¿Por qué se lo dije? Bueno, porque iba a visitarme y sería difícil estar cerca de él, alguien con quien he estado hablando en línea durante meses y que él no notó mi piel durante su visita, eso no va pasar. Entré en pánico y sudando hasta que llegué al punto en que le dije…

ME: Hey, so I have to tell you something personal. I want your honest most truest feelings. So, you know that skin condition that gives you light patches like Michael Jackson? Well I have it!

HIM: Oh wow, that’s cool!

YO: Oye, tengo que decirte algo personal. Quiero tus sentimientos más honestos y verdaderos. ¿conoces esa afección de la piel que te produce manchas  como las de Michael Jackson? ¡Pues… yo lo tengo! ÉL: ¡Oh, eso esta chido!

 

And the rest was history! That’s really how he answered me. If there’s anything else you want to know about when it comes to this skin condition you can always email me or leave an anon comment below! 

¡Y el resto es historia! Realmente así me respondió. Si hay algo más que quieras saber sobre esta afección de la piel, siempre puedes enviarme un correo electrónico o dejar un comentario anónimo a continuación.

 


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Thanks for reading how to tell your partner you have a skin condition in 2 steps

is there something you want to tell your crush but are too scared to? if you want you can tell me and I’ll tell you my honest opinion! use me as practice <3

 I want ya’ll to know if there’s something you hate about yourself and have no control over it, let it be! There’s people who will love you or hate you for those flaws you have, but the one’s who don’t like it don’t deserve to be in your life anyway!

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Read more from me: Getting married at 19How to find your soulmate with the Law of AttractionHow I almost got a divorce 🙁20 movies to watch with your loved one

 
 
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12 Comments

  • this entry inspired me a lot. i mean, this is normal and im so grateful to see that you can recover and can accept yourself! self love is what make us girls beautiful right! hehe. so happy that you can talk about it with your partner and how your partner is so supportive and love you just the way you are! wishing you nothing but a graceful life!! love u always! <3

  • I’m not someone who has or wants a partner but I am some that does have a skin condition and other physical stuffs. So, I can understand the thoughts of insecurities, I have KP on my upper arms and I mostly don’t care about it but there are times all that creeps in and it’s all I think about. My weight is another issue, but in a way luckily for me people who aren’t okay with it stay away on their own. Relationships can be tricky because while it should be an emotionally, and mentally fulfilling relationship, for a lot of people physical is more important. So, that can be hard to navigate, especially online.

    • Thats cool i feel like if i didnt have my husband i would be the same way at this point in my life. Relationships are too much work and im just too picky.

      Thats good those ppl will just stay away so u dont have to deal with them! Thanks for sharing Tiffany hope u have a great weekend 😁

  • Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable ❤️ I’m glad your husband is supportive and kind. We all deserve someone to love us exactly as we are. I think all of our unique traits are cool and make us who we are!

    I grew up with a lazy eye and got glasses to fix it, but it still comes out when I’m tired or sick. I remember thinking “Oh gosh, I’m worried Alejandro (my husband) will see it,” when we first started dating. But he is super supportive and always says I’m beautiful. It’s scary opening up about that stuff. I’m still self-conscious sometimes, but I’m learning in general, that if someone is judging me about my looks, then they don’t deserve to be in my life.

    Have an awesome weekend!!

    • Ur welcome and thanks for sharing with me too ! 💞💌 i agree everyones unique in theyre own way and that makes living great and full of life tbh our differences make us beautiful like our husbands say 😁 have a great weekend too!

  • Sometimes we are harder on ourselves more than others, especially when we are younger. Glad you were able to find someone who loves you just as you are! Have a great week!
    PerlaGiselle | iamperlita.com
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  • I’m so glad you were able to tell your husband about your condition, I think when someone truly loves you they love you for exactly who you are. You shouldn’t have to hide anything from them especially a condition you have no control over. I can imagine how difficult it must have been for you growing up and feeling like you need to hide the patches but I’m glad you’ve learned to love yourself more and are able to wear skirts/dresses without feeling uncomfortable.

  • Kudos to you. I have had family and friends all through my life that have vitiligo, and I know how hard and frustrating it can be. Over time I’ve learned that this is a part of that person. It’s a characteristic that makes them special, and unique. It doesn’t take away how beautiful they are, it only enhances it, and know that they are loved in all there colorways.

    Yes it’s hard to part ways with a secret because over time it becomes a part of you, and sometimes letting it go means you’re losing something. I think it all depends on the person. You know your partner and believe or not people are much stronger than what we give them credit for.

    • Thats an interesting way to see it Wyetha thanks!
      Yes personally i felt good after telling my friend gabe then even better after telling my husband!

      I actually dont know many people with the condition other than my uncle but he has no problems with it since hes an older man. I dealt with it alone for so many years that i was relieved to tell someone finally lol and thats very true humans are very strong people. Ur comment made me think about maybe having friends with the skin condition too ive actually never thought of that before 😵

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