I wanted to share a lonely gal story from yours truly and tell ya how to overcome loneliness when it feels like it’s just you in the world! Even though I’m usually alone on holidays, I still find some ways to make the most of it.

life guide: surviving the holidays for loners

 

My worst holiday season to date

The worst holiday season for me was actually last year in 2017. I was in Mexico and just started my blog soyvirgoblog.wordpress.com. Maybe I seemed happy through my posts, but I was dealing with a semi-breakup with my husband lol! Just saying that confused the heck out of me and probably you too- sorry fam.

Going through a breakup/divorce makes the holidays worse

I went through a lil breakup, and I was even going to get divorced after 6 months of being separated (just so I can get a fee free divorce). Shocking I know, but the good thing is we bounced back in Jan 2018, also I’m in Cali with him now!

this part can be triggering to some, please read with caution!

Anyways, I was so depressed and anything sad that came up in the news made me even more sad. I was listening to sad music on purpose and faked a smile for my innocent grandparents Well, another event that made Xmas last year the WORST was that a well-known kpop idol, that I really enjoyed listening to committed suicide. I was thinking about it almost every day after I heard about it and I was fixated on stories of celebrities and their passing after too.

Talking to someone can pull you out of the darkest, loneliest places

I was on the phone with bae and I told him what I was really thinking – and how I wasn’t feeling anything at all, and then I started crying. What I said was depressing, like how I didn’t care about anyone, and I didn’t even care if my cat Chibi were to stop living. I was still sad about my cat Gati dying from liver disease earlier that year. You can see I was just in the worst state of mind EVER! I didn’t think I could get out of that feeling but somehow my man, although at the time we were not talking to each other as partners, pulled me out of it.

You’re not alone.

Basically, I am so secretive with friends and family that I only shared my darkest thoughts with my husband, the person I was divorcing! Also, the reason I was really sad at that point was because of our relationship ending, my cat dying and being in mexico with grandparents who I can’t have emotional conversations with or else they’d tell my mom. Anyways, that just showed me my husband was as alone as I was since he would only talk to me.

How can you survive the holidays with being in such a dark place like that? I have some ideas of what you can do.

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surviving the holidays for loners

1. Do good deeds for others!
   • Be there for strays, homeless people, elderly, you know the deal! I know it’s hard especially if you’re dealing with something that’s hard to move past from, like a breakup or death for instance. I think doing something for others especially those who clearly are having a hard time really helps.
   • When I feel bad, I just think about my husband’s grandma who many times is feeling physical pain and many times is depressed. I want to be here for her to give her many happy memories and make her feel less sad and lonely. It makes me feel great and I’m sure it will make you feel amazing too!
2. Do your favorite things all at once
   • I know this is basic stuff, but you just gotta enjoy the lil things sometimes! When I used to feel down, I would go on my humor/meme Tumblr and right away laugh at all satirical memes. I mean sometimes you just gotta laugh it all off.
3. Find someone who is just as lonely as you
   • Make some connections! I have a great app for you ladies. You’re def NOT alone out there, even if you’re in a relationship. Hey Vina! is basically tinder for girls. I mean I’m sure you can date too but I’ve found many married girls on there. It’s honestly a dream app come true.
   • If you read my little story above, you can see I was talking to my husband when I was in a dark place. He was just as lonely as me, if not more. That’s why it’s great to find people who might feel the same, and talk!
4. Just accept your loneliness and punch it off
   • you know in the movies when they break a tv in the alley? Go to your local batting cages and get the pain out of your system. You will feel much better after!
5. Bujo what you love about yourself!
   • since you’re so alone, have a moment and make a journal entry about yourself. What is it that you love and appreciate?
6. Watch holiday movies for lonely people?
   • maybe you will feel less lonely watching things meant for lonely people? I mean it kinda works for me lol
   • Check out my letterboxd and mydramalist! Maybe you can find something cute to watch idk!
7. Smile and show that you DON’T CARE
   • it’s said that smiling will instantly make you feel better, also hugging does the trick too! I know you might think you’re just fake smiling, but you gotta think of the good things and just not give a hoot!
   • Tell yourself that you’re strong + amazing, and make it be known that you just don’t give a hoot. In the end, you got yourself to order pizza for, share intimate secrets with and just be your full self. Do all that, and you won’t be judged!
8. Share positive light to yourself and others
   • maybe you feel like you’re worthless during the holidays…well, put those feelings to good use! I’ve decided that I have to keep living to give more happiness to those that literally don’t have a voice. This positive light and energy bring the world more positivity. Share that with the world as well, but first, start with yourself!
9. Put your focus on what you have
   • ever wish you had a boyfriend, a job, a car,etc? well it’s not gonna come to you just for wishing for it! in fact, it will probably never come because you put so much focus on what you don’t have. Rather, try focusing only on what you do and being appreciative of it all.
10. Visit the amazing world wide web and be less alone with everyone else on the internet
    • do this by going on twitch and youtube live streams to chat with random people, I recently did this on twitch and found cute fun people who would message me back!
    • I mean, this is what I would sometimes do and it kind of works, I recommend using Rabb.it! (now it’s called kast)

 

and with that, I will leave ya’ll with this cute snow-y playlist. Let’s try and feel less lonely for the rest of 2018, shall we?

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Thanks for reading guys! Have you guys had any awful Christmas memories? well… maybe we shouldn’t talk about that on here lol But, you can always inbox me! Do you ever feel lonely during the holidays too? How do you guys combat it? 

Read posts from moi: Why you DONT need to find love by 20 years old | Xmas Decor for Minimalists | 60+ Holiday themed blog posts Read my Last Post: Cat Gifts for Cat Lovers!

Thanks for reading my guide to surviving the holidays for loners

are the holidays as lonely for you as they are for mua? i like the holidays a ton but this is what i prefer to do, be a lonely soul on the holidays

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