20 and single, why it’s cool to be a twenty year old virgin!

Hey, so I’m not a virgin ((but I basically was 19 and a virgin, I just quickly had sex for my 20th b-day)) so …sorry for being a fake lol!

Being 20 and Single, why it’s totally fine

If you’re still single in college, don’t worry! Being single is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed of. You’re more strong and brave to have been able to hold out for so long.

Many people have realized this, but if you’re still going through peer pressure or countless relatives on your back about not having a partner, don’t sweat it! Do not let the pressure get to you if you’re not ready.

I, and so many others are in the same boat. You can be one of the people who make being single cool if you just be honest with yourself and show how happy you are without doing what everyone else is.

I’m now 22 and have had my first boyfriend at 19, but if it wasn’t for the internet, I would most likely have been a single 20 year old virgin today (LOL).

20 and single and virgin, why it's okay | soyvirgo.com
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Let me tell you why being in a relationship isn’t a priority, why being a virgin is cool and why twenty is a good age to still not have any experience in love, sex, hand holding, kissing and all that jazz!

Myth; everyone has been in a relationship

Do what you want by all means, but I didn’t want to date someone who had a history with someone while I was still a virgin-in everything. The thought of being with someone experienced in relationships bothered me. Even still, I thought if I’m inexperienced in relationships, I can’t be the only one on earth.

These days, it may seem like most people have had sex by their mid or late teens. I’m not saying it’s such a special thing to save for, but for some, sex can be something to cherish, and ultimately “save” for someone you really want to share it with.

Personally, I felt I couldn’t have sex with anyone unless I got to know them. I really wanted to find someone who I would date for a long time and share everything with only them, because I’m a bit too sensitive to just have sex with someone who doesn’t give a crap about me.

I learned that this kind of behavior can be because I’m a demi-sexual.

Luckily, I had friends who were the same way, so they never really pressured me to have a boyfriend or have sex once I was “too old”.

If you have friends who pressure you to watch porn, goggle over girls just because it’s “what guys do”, have sex or just do anything you don’t want to, then please stop hanging out with them because they are toxic!!!

Moving on…

Finding someone just like you

By 20, I had my first boyfriend. Our meeting will probably be saved for another post in the future, but all you need to know is we met online.

We both had pretty much the same experience with relationships; we never dated, kissed, held hands or had sex. I didn’t think about it much when I was single, but I really do appreciate the fact that there was someone out there just like me.
Being with him had made me think about soulmates more and if they really do exist. So, after meeting him, I know now that there are many others who are inexperienced in love, sex and relationships. The’re not some rare “unicorn” type of people you should fawn over just because they’re “fresh”. Thinking about it, I would be even more cautious when choosing who I would date because I wouldn’t want to be with them if they only wanted to be the first person I would have sex with. Just keep that in mind when getting to know someone!

Focus on you

Lots of people would agree that having sex by the age of 20 is a normal thing. I would like to disagree because, having sex at any adult age is more normal than having sex before you’re 20.

Some things in life are just the opposite, and people have different beliefs, but if I found out any of my cousins or siblings had sex as a teen, I would freak out a bit only because it wasn’t the same case for me.

You’re not falling into the pressure to have sex so young and to date, when so many others have. What you really should focus on is yourself, your goals, your happiness and what you love.

What’s so great about having a partner when you have no other goals and dreams or plans that you want to achieve? I would say, work on your future first, your goals need more attention now than anyone, especially if you’re in your teens.
Let your partner find you.

Many people don’t find the right person right away, so you shouldn’t rush into anything either.

You have time

I waited and started to think about what would make me happy in my future. I finally figured out what I wanted in terms of career and lifestyle and focused only on that and not so much on the guys at my school.

That mindset really helped me graduate fast and helped me be more happy in the long run. I knew what kind of person I wanted to let into my life and I was trying hard to only accept what I believed I deserved.

When I would focus on a boy, though, I became miserable and really was focusing much more on someone else when I should have been looking at myself. 
Eventually, I became really close to someone who was really an amazing guy friend. We ended up being more than friends, which I’m thankful for. I do believe he is one of the only guys I will ever feel so much love for since it’s almost like talking to the male version of me sometimes. Now we are married and not in a long distance relationship anymore! lol

I know it’s hard to find someone you consider your “soulmate”. Everyone is different and it’s cool if you want to date UNTIL you find the right person. Just know, it’s okay to be single until you are ready.

 

 

You can have the RIGHT person for you.

I had a crush on a boy who was probably not the best person to be with. Already putting all of my attention on him, but we only saw each other twice. A person can make you drop everything you have in front of you, just because you think there’s potential, but I’ll be real with you, more likely than not, they are going to fail you!

From those two meetings with the guy I was giving my undivided attention to, I saw one too many flaws he had. Even so, I was pretty much willing to settle for anything.

I was basically treating him how Tom treated Summer in 500 days of Summer. Looking past all the things I wouldn’t like in a partner who I plan to spend the rest of my life with.

I know myself enough to say I WANT to spend the rest of my life with one person, and the feeling of that is amazing.

sure, eventually you may want to but I’ve heard of people living until 100 and being happy without ever being married. Just find yourself, focus on you and your life, your life’s purpose and all that good stuff!!!

I have a few friends who haven’t had any experience dating, and they’re in their early twenties. Some of them don’t have the time to meet someone, maybe they’re too shy or scared. Some are waiting for the right one.

I hope you can wait for as long as you want. Don’t settle for anything less than you should have. I really feel there is someone out there for you. Good luck and thanks so much for reading!


Read more relationship posts:

Marrying my soulmate | Moving to california to be with my soulmate | Free Roadtrip with bae

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art by Mafin Finke

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LOVE, KIKI

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